It was a hard fight. I worked through the night, which became morning, which became afternoon, and the next evening, and then the next night, and the next morning. I worked through the rattling of recycling bins from my neighbour’s house, their exploding fireworks and music; through countless cups of coffee so strong I had to take anti-acids; through two pasta meals, ten cups of hot water, a peanut butter-honey-banana sandwich, and a grand total of 8 hours sleep in three days – and as I slept I dreamt of a whale biting me in half. My head and chest swam to the shore but never reached it, because I swam back to get my legs, which sank.
At that point someone called me Jonah (not Ishmael) and I could see lights emerge on continents surrounding the sea – in this dream the continents surround the sea instead of sea surrounding them. I woke up and went back to the computer, made more coffee, started a new chapter, lamented the cheesiness of my fiction but made peace with the fact that I would never be Nabokov, or Hemingway, or E. S. Liew.
Of course this is what happens when one reads too much Freud – one dreams of whales. But the main point is that I made peace with the thesis.
Now it is….
And I am DONE.
Just need to show it to the sups before binding. Maybe minor editing (I hope!).
I had said that only one of us would survive… but his what my subconscious was telling me:
Firstly, the Old Testament really was pounded into me as a child (not that I had a choice) – I am a product of Judeo-Christianity (at least subconsciously) – because Jonah was a man who disobeyed God and his boat was hit by a storm that threatened to drown everyone. So Jonah told the sailors that God was angry and that if he were thrown out everyone else would survive. Jonah was thrown out and swallowed by a whale. Inside the whale Jonah repents… and so the whale spits him out.
Secondly, I didn’t have to fight. I ought to have simply submitted – like a reed bending in the wind (another metaphor).
Thirdly, my dreams are freaking awesome. It is so quiet now I can hear the air in this room.
Call me Jonah.
According to these guys - click - I was drunk this week.