Darren:
Clean out the machine.
It's stopped spinning. Take the clothes out.
Take the doubts from my mind.
Take the soap from your mouth,
from the last time you spoke to me like that. Stop.
Like that – the way you're speaking to me.
And clean it.
Karen:
Oh Susan! It's because he's
so specific
about how the machine creases his shirts.
It's stopped spinning. Take the clothes out.
Take the doubts from my mind.
Take the soap from your mouth,
from the last time you spoke to me like that. Stop.
Like that – the way you're speaking to me.
And clean it.
Karen:
Oh Susan! It's because he's
so specific
about how the machine creases his shirts.
I mean his rationale is creaseless,
like a shirt should be.
We’re getting older – you’re almost thirty-three.
So when will you settle down and find a Mr Me?
You should learn to iron properly.
Susan.
Darren:
Why are you wearing a mask at the door?
Why are you trying to tip the delivery guy?
Don't. Don't move.
Because: me. I'll do it. I’ll do it right.
Where's that ten dollars?
Why did you use it?
I'll take care of it.
We’re getting older – you’re almost thirty-three.
So when will you settle down and find a Mr Me?
You should learn to iron properly.
Susan.
Darren:
Why are you wearing a mask at the door?
Why are you trying to tip the delivery guy?
Don't. Don't move.
Because: me. I'll do it. I’ll do it right.
Where's that ten dollars?
Why did you use it?
I'll take care of it.
I'll take care of everything, babe.
Karen:
But Susan,
remember right angles from 9B Geometry?
He’s got the right angle, Susan,
on this pandemic problem … cause he reads
Karen:
But Susan,
remember right angles from 9B Geometry?
He’s got the right angle, Susan,
on this pandemic problem … cause he reads
The Daily Wire, Susan.
And why are you wearing a mask? It's a hoax.
It's 5G. Did Bill Gates ‘vaccinate’ you?
Don't you know, that mask will
suffocate you?
Susan!
Darren:
I'm sick and it's your fault.
Because you left it in the machine, it's your fault.
It's not the pandemic, fool!
You let it get mouldy, it’s you!
As if the dampness from my sweat,
could possibly make you sick.
When I touch you, do you get sick?
Perhaps you are sick – in the head, to think
my sweat contaminated the bed –
Oh, but there’s the loaded washing machine!
Karen:
But Susan,
you need to empathise
with him.
I'm so upset.
You need to empathise
with him.
I'm crying … because I'm sick ... because we're
It's 5G. Did Bill Gates ‘vaccinate’ you?
Don't you know, that mask will
suffocate you?
Susan!
Darren:
I'm sick and it's your fault.
Because you left it in the machine, it's your fault.
It's not the pandemic, fool!
You let it get mouldy, it’s you!
As if the dampness from my sweat,
could possibly make you sick.
When I touch you, do you get sick?
Perhaps you are sick – in the head, to think
my sweat contaminated the bed –
Oh, but there’s the loaded washing machine!
Karen:
But Susan,
you need to empathise
with him.
I'm so upset.
You need to empathise
with him.
I'm crying … because I'm sick ... because we're
having this asinine conversation,
which I'm sick of!
I'm sick.
Because of the shirts –
You don't know anything about marriage, Susan!
Oh, you think I make bad choices?
Well! I'm not the one who dates losers
who think a career can be made
from writing
poetry.
And if you’ll excuse me,
I have to clean
the washing machine!
I'm sick.
Because of the shirts –
You don't know anything about marriage, Susan!
Oh, you think I make bad choices?
Well! I'm not the one who dates losers
who think a career can be made
from writing
poetry.
And if you’ll excuse me,
I have to clean
the washing machine!
By E. S. Liew
Liew, E.S. "Susan." Melbourne Writer's Group Anthology: Lockdown, Melbourne Writer's Group, 2020, pgs 45-47.